TO ALL AMERICANS ON REDDIT COMPLAINING ABOUT METERED INTERNET,

Please, stop the whining, and shut the fuck up.

There are places, outside the United States of America, that actually don't have cheap unmetered Internet! There are places, outside your little world of Cingular and AT&T and crap, where we actually have to fork out a fucking shitload of money to get fast Internet. There are places where if you want un-fucking-metered Internet, you're living in a fucking DREAM WORLD.

I live in Australia, which is a small country in western Europe. Oh, wait, no it's not, but you guys have no fucking idea where anything outside your obese, consumerist, piece-of-shit country is anyway. Our networks are fucking shit compared to yours, to be honest. Telstra and Optus are our main ones. Go on, check Optus out, for example. AUD$100 ($95.30 of your dollar, which is currently shithouse in case you need reminding) gets you THIRTY FUCKING GIGABYTES A MONTH.

Think about that shit, guys. We're a decently modern country, really. We're generally not Crocodile Dunfuckingdee going about in the outback tackling crocodiles. We invented the combine harvester, the scramjet engine, the electric drill, LATEX FUCKING GLOVES, the rolling garage door, better fucking banknotes than you'll ever have, the fucking refrigerator, the pacemaker, the bionic ear, and a while bunch of random scientific shit (like atomic absorption spectroscopy. But you fuckers wouldn't know what any of those three words mean because your public education system is down the shithole.) WE ARE A FUCKING REAL COUNTRY.

And we get 30GB a month for USD$95.30. You whingers are worse than the fucking poms! Why are reddit people bitching about Virgin Broadband potentially throttling to 15GB A FUCKING DAY, which would affect, according to them, ONE FUCKING PERCENT OF YOU SPOILT FUCKERS.

Oh, and our Internet isn't the fucking shiz, either. Because we're in the middle of fucking nowhere, we get about a quarter to a third of your speed. Which sucks shit.

But that's not the worst of it. THINK ABOUT THE UNLUCKY FUCKERS WHO HAVE WORSE INTERNET. I dunno where, but Australia, for its isolation, actually has a pretty fucking awesome Internet connection. Think about places worse than Australia. They're practically in a fucking Internet draught in those places!

So, fucking reddit yanks, can you PLEASE stop posting your FUCKING BITCHINGS about your elite Internet connection. It is not a violation of your civil liberties (if you gave a fuck about civil liberties you wouldn't've elected Bush, by the way) to have mediocre internet.

IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING BAD

Yours sincerely,

The Rest Of The Fucking World

Oh, and by the way, no offence





to the yanks and





to the poms.


Seriously guys, no offence meant to anyone, and this whole thing is done in good humour. I went to the US once; I loved it, and people were awesome, too. But really, enough with the metered internet posts on reddit.